Category: The Parent’s Corner

A parent’s greatest fear is losing his or her child, and unfortunately this fear is becoming a reality far more often than it should. The culprit? Suicide. The solution? Well, there isn’t one answer, but there are signs you can watch for, steps you can take and tools you can implement to protect your children from making the most drastic — and last — decision of their lives. Mom, Dad, meet parental control software. It’s here and it can save your child’s life.

According to research conducted by the American Association of Suicidology, national suicide rates are the highest they’ve been in nearly 30 years — with three times more teens dying by suicide now than 60 years ago. This epidemic can no longer be ignored and – with the recent focus on suicide in the media and through the spread of twisted social media ‘games’ like the blue whale challenge — it’s time we take measures to reclaim our youth.

Here are 4 steps for preventing youth suicide:

1. Know the Warning Signs

While there is no key indicator of suicide — it varies with each individual — there are certain signs that may provide a warning to family and friends that someone needs help. These include mood swings, withdrawal from social situations, unstable sleep patterns, talking about feeling lonely or a burden and drug and alcohol use.

Now, at first glance these all sound pretty similar to a typical pre-teen or teenager. You know angsty, emotional, rebellious, never wants to be around the family. But that’s exactly why it’s so important to check in and keep a close eye on your children — because their cries for help may not be loud.

Remember: it’s hard enough for a teen to share their feelings with their parents, let alone those feelings. That’s where parental monitoring software can help be your eyes and ears by allowing you to monitor your child’s social media, internet, phone call and texting behavior to see whether he or she is just being a moody teen or if they are grasping for a helping hand.

2. Educate Yourself

As parents, we will probably never fully understand our kids. But we can at least try to understand the world we share — and the external factors which impact them.

The Blue Whale Challenge & Social Media

As mentioned in a previous blog post, the blue whale challenge is an online game whereby administrators target troubled youth and engage them in a series of tasks that ultimately ends in suicide. Originating in Russia, this social media phenomenon has recently spread to other countries around the world — with two teen suicides in the US being linked to the blue whale challenge since May.

Schools around the country are warning parents of the game and asking them to be open to conversations should their children speak about the blue whale challenge. Parents are also urged to watch for signs their children may be involved.  Parental control software gives you the ability to target specific key words (like ‘blue whale’) and receive notifications when your child or whomever they are speaking with uses them. Imagine being able to step in at the first sign of danger or risky behavior.

Suicide Is Contagious

We know, it surprised us to learn this too. Recent medical research has concluded that, “Exposure to suicide is pervasive and occurs beyond family.” This means that those exposed to suicide — whether directly through a friend or family or indirectly via social media or another outlet — are more likely to have suicidal thoughts.

In a recent Newsweek article, research found that one suicide now affects roughly 135 people — a third of them being seriously impacted by it — as compared to about 6 people in the past. We have technology and social media to thank for this with Dr. Christine Moutier, chief medical officer at the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, noting teens see the attention garnered by the deceased and in turn feel a desire to also be part of this “romanticized death.”

Other risk factors that can influence suicide include depression, other suicide in the family, financial or personal loss and past abuse or trauma, among others.

3. Have A Conversation

Now that you know what to look for — as well as the additional risk factors that can contribute to death by suicide  — you are more prepared to have a dialogue with your children. Some experts recommend not bringing suicide up, as it may encourage them to seek out more information. Still, others think it’s important to let keep open communication with your kids about pertinent topics like this.

However you decide to do it — whether it be asking your children directly if they have heard of the blue whale challenge or indirectly by just asking if they are okay on a regular basis — know that your words and your interest in your child could be the difference in what decision he or she makes.

4. Use Parental Monitoring Software

Kids and teens don’t always want to talk and parents oftentimes don’t want to overstep their boundaries — because who wants a grumpy teen, right? So, let parental control software be an added layer of security for those times when you want to know, but you don’t know how to ask. Check in from time to time — maybe you’ll be happily surprised that nothing is going on. Or maybe you’ll be able to step in before it’s too late.

For more information on how to download the most powerful parental monitoring software on the market, click HERE.

The Time Is Now

We live in a world centered around technology. A world where people like the Russian blue whale challenge administrators are able to prey on the weak.  A world where people we have never met can cause us to make the biggest mistake of our lives.

Parents, we get it — you don’t want your kids to hate you for checking up on their social media or texting habits. And you don’t want them to shut you out because you’re prying. However, you also don’t want to wake up one morning — and every morning thereafter — to find your son or daughter has died by suicide knowing you could have prevented it. So why not let parental control software walk that fine line between invading your child’s privacy and saving their life.

Get FlexiSPY — the world’s most powerful monitoring software — HERE.

If you or someone you know is displaying suicidal behavior, don’t wait. Contact your local suicide hotline NOW!

Our children are the first generation of digital natives. The first to not remember life without technology, social media, WIFI, mobile phones or computers. Heck, some don’t even know what a CD is, let alone a cassette or vinyl?! And while society’s foray into the futuristic world of robots and Bluetooth is seemingly right on track with what we hoped to achieve, it’s become obvious we didn’t plan for the negative effects that come along with it – especially with regard to online safety for kids.

Here are 11 tips to help keep your children safe from digital backlash:

1) Discuss Online Safety

The internet is an amazing resource for information, learning and fun, but with all that content and all those people it’s important to discuss online safety for kids:

• Don’t give out personal information.
• Establish which websites are okay and which are off limits.
• Don’t talk to strangers or accept their friend requests.
• If someone makes you feel uncomfortable or bullied, say something immediately.

2) Sign a Social Media Contract

Think of this as your family’s Digital Constitution. Involve your children in the discussion and create a social media contract together. After all, they are the tech and social media experts. Talk about what pressures they feel and what negative effects too much social media time can have on their everyday lives. Let them set their own consequences if they break the rules. Kids will feel more invested as they are responsible for setting the guidelines. Stick to the contract, but leave room for amendments as your children get older or prove they can make smart decisions about online safety.

3) Establish Screen-Free Zones

It seems that no place is safe from electronics these days, but you can change that. Set clear boundaries with your children about where they can and cannot use their mobiles, computers or tablets. Having these screen-free zones allows you to engage with your children and encourages them to break free from their devices. Some suggestions:

• At the dinner table: You don’t need to answer that text – instead, talk about friends, homework or family issues.
• In the car: Your bestie will still talk to you when you see her in five minutes at school, honey. Use car time to chat about school, play Carpool Karaoke or enjoy the view.
• In the bedroom at night: Not only does a screen’s light trigger your brain to stay awake, but the anxiety of waiting for a social media post or comment is causing some people to wake up in the middle of the night to check in.

But Moooooooom. It’s my phone! It’s my bedroom! Stay strong. Of course, you’ll be met with resistance at first, but over time it will become habit and you’ll be happy knowing that family time is still sacred – at least in some places.

4) Educate Yourself

Admit it. Your kids are way more tech savvy than you. This is all the more reason to take time to understand how they are using the internet and which applications are most popular. No, you don’t have to download Tinder or Snapchat, but ask your children to show you how they work. At least you’ll be able to have informed discussions about responsible usage and online safety. Even better, see if you can find an application that the whole family can use together. Set up a group chat on WhatsApp and keep a constant conversation going.

5) Install Parental Monitoring Software

You can’t be everywhere all the time – nor should you be. It’s important for kids to have their space and to understand that you trust them. It’s also important to have tools in place to ensure they are safe, because they aren’t always looking to talk about personal matters, Mom and Dad. Parental monitoring software, like FlexiSPY, can help be your eyes and ears when you aren’t there.

Tell your children you’re installing the software. Receive alerts when certain words are used, inappropriate websites are visited or apps meant for adults are downloaded. You’re not invading their privacy. You’re not reading their conversations. You’re simply setting the expectation that they need to make healthy decisions, practice online safety and avoid dangerous situations.

6) Monitor Social Media Posts

Does a stranger really need to see your teenage daughter and her friends at the beach? Is it necessary that the world knows your son is at the mall? Today, social media and teens are synonymous. Ask to see their accounts. See what they are posting and who they are talking to and hanging out with. Encourage your kids to be kids – be silly, take pictures, have fun! But also explain that what’s on the internet lasts forever and come to an agreement about what is appropriate and inappropriate to post.

7) Check Privacy Settings

Look through browser and application privacy settings and disable any unnecessary tracking features and cookies that may affect online safety. Set your child’s profile to private and ensure only friends and family can see what they are posting. Explain again that it’s important to be themselves online, but that it’s not necessary for strangers to also know so much about them.

8) Practice What You Preach

That’s right parents, it’s time to put down our own phones and live in the moment. Set a positive example and hold yourself to the same standards as your children. Honor the screen-free zones, seek out tech-free activities and make an effort to be fully present during family time. Your kids will see you spending less time online and will follow suit.

9) Set Time Limits

Remember the days when our parents limited us to 2 hours of TV time a day? This doesn’t have to change simply because our devices are portable. Before mobiles reached the masses, kids happily spent time away from technology. Set tech-time limits for your children and enforce them. But moooooooommmmmm… BUT nothing. You’re the parent and you make the rules.

10) No Underage Access

Did you know that social media sites have age restrictions? Most applications are for those 13+, while some require users to be older – Whatsapp (16+), Tinder (18+), YouTube (certain videos are 18+). Did you also know that most sites don’t verify if the user is actually 13+? This is where setting those boundaries is so important in deterring young ones from logging on to sites not meant for them. Use parental monitoring software to verify that your kids are being responsible and following the rules for online safety that you set together.

11) Don’t Judge Their Mistakes

We need to set examples for our children, but we also need to know when to take off our mommy and daddy hats and make them feel safe and not judged. Kids will make mistakes. We made them, their kids will make them. It’s life. One of the worst things we can do as parents is make our kids feel like they can’t talk to us. Let them know that no matter what, we will listen. Don’t say, ‘I told you so.’ Say, ‘Honey, I’m sorry this happened. Let’s look at what we can do differently next time.’ The moment they stop communicating is the moment we close the door on knowing what they are actually up to. Trust is gone and silence becomes our lingua franca.

Youth have access to more information and are more connected than ever before. And while this is contributing to a global society, broadening horizons and sharing cultures, it’s also exposing our kids to cyberbullies, content way too mature for their age and, unfortunately, predators. So, let’s take a step back from our own tech-filled lives and look at how we can support our children in balancing their real lives from their virtual ones. Hopefully, we can set a strong example of online safety and navigate this digital wasteland together.

As teen suicide rates erupt in Russia, authorities look to online ‘death groups’ as prime suspects. Their alleged platform? A disturbing social media game called the Blue Whale Challenge. It’s time to ask what we can do to ensure our teens are safe.

It seems unfathomable that something like this could exist. Something so dark. So heinous. It’s like a modern day Jack the Ripper – a faceless killer wreaking havoc on the weak – only now, Jack is a ‘curator’, his weapon a social media game and his victim…our fragile youth.

What is the Blue Whale Challenge?

In some depraved way, it’s a game. And it’s quite simple really:

1. Seek out a curator, or mentor – a member of a death group or online community that convince teens to take their own lives who guides you through the Blue Whale Challenge
2. Agree to complete every task the curator assigns – NO backing out or they will come for you
3. Oh, and one more minor detail – acknowledge that to win, you must die.

That’s right. After 50 days of acquiescing every demand, including disrupting your sleep schedule and self-mutilation, your curator will tell you to kill yourself. And so far, more than 130 Russian teens have done just that, while numerous other teens around the world have been saved before it was too late.

Reported by RT last year, authorities and the media have since been investigating whether the Blue Whale Challenge is in fact being played outright or if it’s an urban legend – either way, something is happening and we need to make it stop.

Why are teens playing?

Pressure is greater than ever. Gone are the days when bullies were left at the schoolyard and the image of perfection was limited to the latest magazine covers at the supermarket. Now, in our tech-obsessed society, we are continuously exposed to – no bombarded with – an endless barrage of flawless celebrities, baseless sub-truths and unrealistic goals. Cyberbullying follows us home. Social media means our lives are what we let people perceive. And when you’ve never known life without this steady flow of warped reality, the surreal is just plain real.

It’s easy to feel left out. Numb. Stranded. Like the blue whales who beach themselves to die. So, when someone gives you a chance to feel a rush, to feel a sense of belonging, to feel something, what have you got to lose? The World Health Organization reports suicide as the “second leading cause of death among 15-29 year olds globally,” and with youth suicide the fastest growing segment of this demographic, it’s easy to start connecting the dots.

It’s time for a conversation

Once taboo, youth suicide – especially in relation to the dangers of social media, peer pressure and depression – is begging to be heard. Pop culture has started the conversation with films like Lionsgate’s Nerve or series like Netflix’s 13 Reasons Why. And for the first time, society is giving a voice to those without.

Did you know hospitalization of youth with suicidal intentions has doubled in the last ten years? It’s up to us to keep the conversation going. Look for signs of the Blue Whale Challenge – pictures of blue whales, depressed posts or images, specific hashtags (#bluewhale, #bluewhalechallenge, #curatorfindme, #f57, #f58, #I_Am_Blue_Whale)  – and voice your concerns.

Students, speak up if you see changes in your peers or come across pro-suicide groups. Parents, communicate with your children.

And while it’s impossible to know what someone is doing or thinking at all times, there are tools to make it easier. FlexiSPY’s monitoring software gives you peace of mind knowing that your children are making the right decisions online and allows you to step in at the first sign of trouble or inappropriate interactions.

Use FlexiSPY as a means of showing your teen you trust them. You’re not spying or keeping them hooked to your fishing line. But you are instead protecting against those looking to catch them in their own sinister nets.

Most of us will probably never understand why others choose to prey so viciously on the vulnerable, but we can take steps to prevent it. Have the conversation with your teens about the Blue Whale Challenge. Let them know they are never alone, because really, we are all swimming together in a deep blue sea. And it’s our duty to make sure that everyone – even the blue whale – stays in the water.